The Gift of Fear vs The New Don't Blame Mother

The Gift of Fear

Gavin de Becker

1997

A carjacker lurking in a shopping mall parking lot. An abusive husband pounding on the door. A disgruntled employee brandishing a gun. These days, no one is safe from the specter of violence. But according to Gavin de Becker, everyone can feel safer, act safer, be safer -- if they learn how to listen to their own sixth sense about danger. De Becker has made a career of protecting people and predicting violent behavior. His firm handles security for many of Hollywood's top celebrities -- Madonna, Michael J. Fox, Geena Davis, Brooke Shields, and John Travolta, among others, according to press reports -- and his computerized risk-assessment system helps analyze threats to members of Congress and the Supreme Court. Now, in this unprecedented guide, de Becker shares his expertise with everyone. Covering all the dangerous situations people typically face -- street crime, domestic abuse, violence in the workplace -- de Becker provides real-life examples and offers specific advice on restraining orders, self-defense, and more. But the key to self-protection, he demonstrates, is learning how to trust -- and act on -- our own intuitions. For everyone who's ever felt threatened, this book is essential reading.

The New Don't Blame Mother

Paula Caplan

2000

In 1990, Paula Caplan, a nationally recognized expert on the psychology of women, wrote the groundbreaking Don'tBlame Mother. Now, almost ten years later, she finds that we are still blaming mothers. Fully revised, updated with a new introduction, this second edition proposes new ways of mending the mother-daughter relationship. The NewDon't Blame Mother: Mending the Mother-DaughterRelationship shows us that dangerous myths about mothers pervade our culture and have created or aggravated many of the problems between mothers and daughters. Myths of the Perfect Mother give rise to impossible expectations and set mothers up for failure--good mothers don't get angry, good mothers are endlessly giving--and myths of the Bad Mother exaggerate mothers' failings and create a monster figure in her image--mothers are too needy, mothers can't let go. Caplan shows that if women can identify these myths then they can take concrete steps to build a strong and loving relationship with their mothers. The New Don't Blame Mother shows how the anger and agony of the mother-daughter relationship can be replaced with a new bond based on understanding and respect. The New Don't Blame Mother is a must-read for all mothers and daughters. Caplan, drawing on over twenty-five years of research, clinical practice, and the experience of workshop participants, will show you how to stop blaming mother and, instead, start loving her.